Census.

2010 March 25
by admin

Friends, it has come to my attention that the United States Government is conducting a Census.  As we are all well aware, the important demographic data collected by means of the Census is used to determine Congressional representation, the disbursement of federal funds and various  important federal resources.  So, you know who you are, if I have spent more than several nights on your couch in the past 6 months, you may have a legitimate claim to list me as “resident,” and therefore reap the proportional federal reward your city/state/region may be more entitled to due to my residence there.  However – conscience and federal law prevents me from allowing more than one person from claiming my residence in their home.  So – If you live in one of the following areas, please submit a brief application to me.  I will award one deserving recipient with the right to claim me as a part time resident:

Atlanta/Helen/Griffen GA
Washington,  DC
Silver Spring, MD
Monticello, UT
Salt Lake City, UT
Durango, CO
Denver, CO
Louisville, CO
Vail/Avon CO
Philadelphia, PA
Princeton, NJ
Buffalo, NY
Rochester, NY
Brooklyn NY
NYC, NY
Brunswick, ME
Kansas City, MO
Etc…

Applications are limited to one paragraph.  No phone calls please.

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