More candid beard reactions.

2010 April 13
by admin

So, with summer rapidly approaching, I realize that I will eventually have to shave my beard.  I’m not looking forward to this, as I’m enjoying the reactions it produces in the citizenry.  A summary follows:

Demographic Verbal reaction to my beard Hidden Meaning
Teenage Girl “Hi Santa!” Wait – Santa has a white beard and looks benevolent, and less Semitic.  Mommy!
Islamic Practitioner “Wassup, my brother.” You are possibly a fellow member of the brotherhood of Islam.  Salaam.
Homeless Person Wordless Stare. This man obviously can’t afford to give me a dollar.  However, he smells suspiciously good.
Amish Cheese-monger at Public Market “Ahh,” followed by perplexed stare. You remind me of my brother, Hephzibah, after a godless bender involving trouser-wearing women and cheap beer.  Away!
Hipster Couple “Nice Beard Dude” Hmm, your facial hair has called into question the degree to which appropriating my girlfriend’s jeans constitutes rebellion.
Hippie Dude “Nice Beard Dude.” I would grow such a beard, if I could remember to forget to shave.
30-something Man Smoking Marihuana in his car Alone Wordless head nod. Ha!  And I was worried someone would call the police.
Female College Student Mock Horror.  Followed by Real Horror. I am glad to have studied and kept up with extracurricular activities.  I will never end up on the street.
Greek Orthodox Priest ~Gasp~ There is hope for our order!  The beard is a sign.  Bar-Keep, fetch the Ouzo!
Orthodox Jewish Man “Ahhhh,” followed by perplex stare. What are they teaching in Sunday School these days? Oy, I had assumed that ZZ Top was deceased, yes?
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